The Sunny Side

revelation.
the reason that i search & search for purpose and direction is not because i'm scared of moving forward, it's because i'm acutely aware of the infinite possibilities that are available to me. and i want to make sure that i chose the right pathway, or the one that can shine the most proverbial light on the world.

the answer is to quit searching?
that is still a question.

i don't know where i'm supposed to be going or doing with my life, but i feel like i'm wasting time trying to figure it out. i sit around waiting for the future to pack its best punch and for the gut of me to truly emerge...

i should practice letting it just come to me.

also: i have been practicing and practicing aligning positive thought with reaction. sometimes it works, and sometimes it takes a lot of energy.

i'm partially scared of recoiling into my own mind & losing my "sanity".
but more likely i'm not.

things i ask from the universe:
- wisdom to make the right choices & knowledge
- the ability to seperate myself from my ego (MUCH FOCUS)
- an innovative mind
- strong senses
- a selfless perspective
- sincere empathy
- connection with others
- loyalty
- DIRECTION
- to be positive.

i think that for so long i have wrapped my conciousness around this belief that i'm truly a negative person, which in turn makes me truly negative.
possibly, i don't know.

i hate writing definitive sentences because i like being open to change.
i honestly think that i'm keeping something grounded that needs to be surfaced.
i need to practice meditation.

NEEDS NEEDS WANTS WANTS WANTS DREAMS DREAMS DREAMS
i just wish i could stop my mind from rotating for a little while.

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