The Sunny Side

questions
questions for today (in answer to someone close who asks why i feel depressed when nothing is 'going' on.)

what is happiness? what is love? what is real? why is the world a cramped chessboard with only a few key global players vying for political power? why do we allow them to govern us and our emotions? how are wars preventable? does it matter? can you change your reality with your perception? can i disassociate from this world and suffering? do i need to? why can't i believe in anything without dissecting it until it becomes science, but with a literal feeling? why can't i be spiritual without religion? why do i need to find some organized set of beliefs to define my presence here? why do i need a purpose? why can't i believe in a partial truth, and dismiss what isn't right to me (such as the bible)? why does god allow the world to exist in this way? why is there seperation? why can't i be content with my surroundings? why do i feel the need to change everything if i don't even believe in the reality of the world? why can i see that we DEFINITELY make what happens to us real by acknowledging the power of our minds over our reality? why isn't that evident to most people? why does it not make me feel any better that i can use this power to make things happen in my life, simply by removing doubt? why does it make a difference to learn about how the world and its atoms work if we have no idea how close we are to the truth of the matter? especially why do we study how things work and then refute that those discoveries have an Ultimate Creator? why do we continue to use traditions and forget or even explicitly deny their core values (ie: why, roommate, do you celebrate christmas?) why is our love for one another unequal; why SHOULD we love our family more than our enemies? why can no one seem to understand the hard ethic: TURN THE OTHER CHEEK? why does it have to be a religious thing? why can't any one see how that kind of strict mortality is necessary for the GOOD of the world? why can i see that but find it extremely difficult to do? why don't i just give up the fight for justice and ease my mind? why do i care about myself at all? what intrinsic worth do i have to the whole? what worth are you? why don't we listen to one another? why must be (there must be) competition of species to substain life? why do people try to move up the monetary ladder when we are mortal? what is the goal here? why can i see that the only goal is love, but then not utilize it? why is it so difficult for me to "bring myself down to earth"? why is it that the more i try to advance toward wisdom, the less valuable i feel? why do i still have inhibitions? why do i still fight my ego? why do you? why doesn't god just become visible to me in some shape or form? i can see how this life is a classroom, but why can't god be a direct teacher? i understand how faith works, but it is clearly an insane idea! why can i still believe in god, but fight so hard against it? why can i pseudo-understand greater things in life, but not break down this simple mathematical formula into something relatable (i understand that math is clearly important)? why does everything have two sides, why is everything so RELATIVE that no decision that i make feels right? where do ideas come from in great thinkers? how can we speculate how the universe works when we can't even know where we stand in it's functioning? where does morality come from? are some people born with a stronger sense of interdependence or is it a result of upbringing? how can i rely on a teacher? what exactly does meditation entail? why do i do anything and why don't i do everything? which matters? why do i care about everything (obviously it's good) and why don't i care about nothing (obviously it's good)? how can i see things so clearly sometimes and then not be able to give advice that helps, that doesn't just soothe but changes things? how do i debate anything when i don't have any answers that are easily accessible, or rather, how do i give answers when i would have to explain an entire idea about how the world is nonexistent, just a dream? you can't explain that, no one understands unless it is from a deeper portion of their soul--a path most don't explore! i don't understand it but i belive in it from somewhere outside of myself! how do you explain that? how can i see that there is nothing wrong with me (because i truly don't matter), and then continue to dwell on how everything is going downhill? why do i envy people who are happy and then feel as if it is because they are in denial or naive or self-absorbed? are they? or are some people just truly beyond this life in their spiritual progress (ie: buddhists)? is it more self-absorbed to obsessively worry about being a better person or to not care?

why can i see that the only thing that matters is connection and then feel increasingly disconnected?

(ETC.)

WHERE IS THE MEDIUM?
WHERE DO I FIND ANSWERS THAT DO NOT PRODUCE MORE QUESTIONS?
WHY CANT YOU SEE THAT THIS IS A SCARY THOUGHT?

(but you can't explain this to someone who knows everything)

Advertisement